Pondering…

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December is always such a busy time of year.  There are so many things that need to get done.  There are many things that I would like to do, that might make the season even more festive for me.  But alas, I am not able to get them all done.  I have good intentions.  Each year I say that I’m going to get my Christmas shopping done early so that I’m not worrying about that all month.  But, if I start too early I feel like I’m skipping Thanksgiving.  And, if I finish too early, then I stop…and end up still wrapping presents on Christmas eve.  Truth be told, right now I just want to have a few days to dig in, get the house squeaky clean, and finish decorating.

 With all that gets packed into December, it is one of those months that I start to wish that I had more free time.  Perhaps if I didn’t have to go to work day in and day out, I wouldn’t feel so rushed by having to cram all the other stuff into the evenings and weekends.  Unfortunately, I know that there are other months in the year that are so slow and void of “stuff to do” that I could very likely get bored (or even depressed) by the monotony of stay at home mommy land.  (No, that is not any kind of crack on stay at home moms.  Being one who is prone to boredom, laziness and depression, I still don’t think it’s the right role for me.)

 This morning, I wanted nothing more than to get the kids and my husband out the door and to then go back to bed for another hour.  Not really all that realistic, seeing as how Anna is only 4 and would not be going to daycare if I was not working.  But things could change when she starts Kindergarten next fall.  Perhaps I need to be working part-time.  Oh wait…I am.  I am still 80% though, so I still work everyday for 6-7 hours, depending on the day.  Perhaps just 4 hours a day would suffice.  Unfortunately, my job is not exactly cut out for that schedule.  So then what do I do?  What other kinds of jobs could I do?  Guess that would require some homework…and I don’t have time for homework right now.

 My husband and I have talked about a major change the fall that Anna will go to 1st grade.  That fall will be my 10th anniversary at work.  What a coincidence.  But that seems so far off.  And to be honest, I’m a little scared.  I know I’m ready for a change, but what if the grass isn’t greener over there on that side?

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